life... is....

life is still revolving around studying, studying, studying. i wonder how long more must i persevere. and these few days, i feel weird. no particular discomfort, but not comfortable. haizzz...

i'm super tired of studying. yeah. makes me just ponder on again and again why i decided this route, and what is it that truly keeps me going.

but of course, the encouragements come along, the surprises and sweetness pops out when you need it most, and the happiness (although just the blink of an eye when compared to the woes) can only be described as... memorable.

it truly feels good to be appreciated, although it may seem one-sided.

well.. at least i still enjoy doing things that i like, right? so.. i'm not depressed =)

6 more systems to go... 5 more weeks. i thought i was ahead of time. seems like com med really turned everything topsy turvy.

and ims? dream on.

autoimmune

just came back from a saturated session on anatomy... i feel that all my brain cells have been killed. either they never wanted to accept the data i had in store for them, or the offending agent is so strong that they cant fight this 'infection'.

and it all boils down to one thought- is this really worth it? getting panic attacks every now and then, realising what's supposed to be in your head suddenly vanished into thin air, discovering that everything is more greek that you've ever realised...

i feel tired. exhausted. it's like... not what i want it to be. or maybe it was never what i expected to be.

there's time... there's still time. but will it ever be enough? can the earth stop turning for one day to help me catch up with this lag that i always seem to fall behind on?

i'm tired. yes i really am.

new month again

happy april fools? time flies huh... or maybe i was just too lazy to update. i wonder where is cas.

anyway, updating at 7.26 am isnt a habit of mine, but i sort of woke up 4 minutes earlier today so i have the time (although blogging definitely takes up more than 4 minutes right?)

i finished my report!!! yay! time to just go un-green and print out. currently 56 pages (60 page limit). without the acknowledgments. you see, i dont know who to acknowledge without sounding fake.. haha. because what i feel is that we as students found out much more for ourselves instead of depending on the lecturers. can i not acknowledge them? nevermind, a bit more touch ups to go... after the third night sleeping at 2am...

i actually have nothing much to say other than my blood-and-sweat, toil-and-trouble, day-and-night report because i was complaining like mad about it when i started doing it, and now i feel that sense of satisfaction when i completed it. and it's not the best i've done... but that's always the case when there's seriously not enough time for things, even without the report.

it's time to get back on track to nerding! 2 more months!!

have a great april fools while i go for lectures, sit for a formative, continue reorganising my report, print it out, and NERD.

i really feel like a nerd. haih.