autoimmune

just came back from a saturated session on anatomy... i feel that all my brain cells have been killed. either they never wanted to accept the data i had in store for them, or the offending agent is so strong that they cant fight this 'infection'.

and it all boils down to one thought- is this really worth it? getting panic attacks every now and then, realising what's supposed to be in your head suddenly vanished into thin air, discovering that everything is more greek that you've ever realised...

i feel tired. exhausted. it's like... not what i want it to be. or maybe it was never what i expected to be.

there's time... there's still time. but will it ever be enough? can the earth stop turning for one day to help me catch up with this lag that i always seem to fall behind on?

i'm tired. yes i really am.